What does love require of us?
The new school year has begun, and there is a great deal of excitement amongst the students and their teachers to bring back normalcy into schools after the two years of the pandemic hiatus. Every year before the commencement of classes, I like to induct the new teachers into the Parikrma Way™ and immerse the older teachers more deeply into our practices. We call this the Parikrma Orientation Program. We look forward to it. We prepare for it. It allows me to revisit our vision and mission crafted 19 years ago and assess where we are today with my team. We reassert the Parikrma Core Beliefs that are our signature and that which holds us together. It gives others a chance to understand the “why” of things and the very purpose of our being. It is a week-long of enthusiasm, energy, reflection and preparation to serve our children in the coming year.
Every year we examine our motto of LOVE, EXPLORE AND EXCEL collectively. These three words may appear very simple to the new eye, but when we delve further down and work into the nitty-gritty of love, explore and excel, we realise how profound the thought process is. And every year, together with my team of teachers, I discover new layers to that meaning. Education cannot be without love, explore and excel. True education gives the child the freedom to explore and experiment with new learnings. This can be done if the child is guided by the teachers and exposed to the world outside the school. All children, particularly the Parikrma children, need a glimpse of the wide world, enquiring on their own and finding answers. This enquiry leads to creativity and critical thinking, which are essential for a meaningful life. True education also garners the spirit to excel and do better every day. This quality of not giving up with failure but hanging on and doing one’s best not only by competing with others but by competing with oneself is crucial for wholesome living. We all discuss through role-play, recounting experiences, and focused reflections on what we can do with our children in their classes to help them grow.
Of all these, the most challenging is always the discussion on love and what it requires of us. We realise it is easy to make love self-gratifying, even with the most altruistic intent. If we can understand the depths of love, I think all other value systems fall in place. For example, if we truly love, we will not lie because that will hurt others. If we genuinely love, we can never be biased or partial (something many students hold against their teachers). If we truly love, we will value all kinds of life, be it human, animal, plants or even things that are not visible. When we truly love, we become generous in spirit and compassionate, forgiving, firm, and demanding. True love can also mean sacrifice because we put others’ needs before our own.
Over the last 19 years of Parikrma’s existence, I have often faced challenges regarding my expectations of love and compassion. It is the general perception that understanding can come in the way of discipline because we can get taken advantage of. I have been repeatedly asked how many times we should forgive our students if they trespass. What is the limit, and where is the boundary? What are the consequences, I am repeatedly asked. I don’t have a ready-made answer for that. I think it is very contextual. But one idea is constant. Would things be different if they were not our students but our own children? Where the limits of love as far as our own progeny is concerned? Is there a stopwatch about how often we can forgive our offspring?
I think we mustn’t do anything that creates regret in our students. No child should regret that they came to our school, happened to be in my class or listened to my advice. I don’t want any child to regret that he did not listen to me. Regret is something that I do not wish on anyone I love. Instead, I want remorse to make someone reflect and resolve to better themselves. While writing this, I am mindful that this is easier to write about but very difficult to exercise at times.
It is also true that when we love deeply, we need to take some hard stands to help the other person. It is short-term toughness emanating from love desiring long-term good. That toughness should never be demeaning or indignifying but delivered with great compassion and tenderness. I have found that rational explanation often helps, and it works if we can travel with the other individual through their pain and show them a way. Again, this is also not easy because keeping one’s own ego out of the equation is so difficult. One often hurts because one is hurt. For teachers and school administrators, it is challenging to be involved with the students and keep emotions at bay when making decisions. What helps is taking a long-term view here. Thinking of what I want the student to be in a few years because I care for him really helps. I have found that students are very astute and can identify when the teacher genuinely cares and responds accordingly. I find it fascinating that the same student behaves differently with different teachers in different classes. I tell my teachers to celebrate small successes and keep themselves motivated. There will be a few aberrations, but we must say that one fish does not make a school of fish!
So, what does love require of us? As teachers, we need to be genuine about our feelings, keep our ego out of any decision, and go on forgiving but not forgetting for the child’s benefit. Love requires us to put the other’s well-being before our own. That is the principle of love, whether inside schools or outside. Love in its true sense needs to thrive in schools.
One may, therefore, most rightfully ask, why does teaching demand so much of our love in the workplace? After all, it is just a job. That is the very point. Teaching can never be just a job. It is shaping children’s lives, and that is a huge responsibility. It wrenches most out of us. No wonder teaching requires a lot of our love.
This is all that we explore in the Parikrma Orientation Program. We have just finished one and are all ready to go!
